Something I’ve struggled with for years is learning to ignore the negative thoughts. The thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough or that you don’t belong. I like to refer to that as “victim mentality”. So many people have gone through a tragedy or something traumatizing in their life and many of them can never heal from it. I never would’ve been able to on my own, I need Jesus for that! We aren’t made to be able to handle it by ourselves. However, there comes a time when you need to get out of the “victim” phase and move on from what happened to you. Living in that phase only causes bitterness and hate to grow in your heart. When you’re an adult, you should be able to look at what happened to you, see how it made you grow, and choose to focus on the good that came from it (even if the bad faaaar outweighs the good).
There’s always bumps in the road. Most of the time, those come from other people. People that don’t understand your past or people that don’t even realize what they’re saying/doing. And then there’s people that know exactly where to hit you to make it hurt. Sure, it’s easy to let those comments or actions just roll off most of the time. But there will be times where these things can come from people you love. THAT’S when it’s hard to just let it go. My first (and probably most important) piece of advice, FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM. Don’t let your upbringing or your past decide what your future looks like. Don’t be intimidated to chase after your dreams because of “where you came from”.
It’s not about what happens to you, it’s what you do about it. The greatest thing about this is that you have a choice. You can choose to do better and treat people better than they’ve ever treated you or you can feel sorry for yourself & get stuck in a rut. You can take what you’ve dealt with and turn it into one of your greatest strengths—if you stay away from the “victim mentality”. Part of this is choosing your circle wisely. Surround yourself with people that know your heart and when you make a mistake, they won’t question your intentions but instead help pick you up, dust you off, and keep moving forward. Finding people like this is rare and most often comes in the form of family. Yes, some can be toxic and just because they’re “family” doesn’t mean they are healthy to have in your life. However, MOST of the time your family will be the ones you turn to and they’ll stick around for the good and bad times. In my life, I’ve been lucky enough to find a friend that isn’t blood but this girl is like family to me now. My best friend, Olivia, has supported me and loved me through literally EVERYTHING. That girl knows my heart so even when I make mistakes, she understands where my intentions are. I pray everyone is blessed with a friend like that at some point in their lives. The point of this is, surround yourself with people that know your heart.
Don’t look down on yourself. No one is perfect and God doesn’t expect you to be. That’s not an excuse to continually make the same bad choices but it means that you have to forgive yourself and not carry that with you. When you mess up, it doesn’t make God love you any less and it definitely doesn’t make you “unsaved”. Once you’re truly saved that doesn’t go away because you stumble and sin. If that was true, none of us would be saved, right? I mean, God sees all sin equally. Remember, you are more than the choices that you make.
Forget where you came from, forgive yourself for past mistakes, choose a circle of people that know your heart, and know that you are a son/daughter of the One True King. So when your crown slips, put it back in place, and wear it like it’s yours, because it is.
Listen to this: